Not that it matters, but I still think of you, I still dream of you. Not that it matters, but I contemplate on a daily basis what it would have been like to still be with you, right now, this very second. Would I be happy? Or would I still be sad and full of resentment? You left me long before I left you, I can assure you that. I didn't want to marry you, like you thought for some god-awful reason. I just wanted your time. That's all. Just you.
I hate that every mutual friend we have I feel alienated around. I hate that I can't talk to you anymore. I hate that I don't have someone to sit around with and shoot the shit with anymore. I hate that you're not around to make me laugh and goof around with. I hate that. I HATE missing you. And when we broke up, I did something foolish. I decided to announce on fucking facebook that I was fine without you, but really I wasn't. It was a sorry attempt to get a rise out of you. I soon came to the realization that I only pushed you further away. I crushed all future hopes of reconciliation. Either way, if I hadn't lashed out the way I did, it's not like I'd hear from you anyway. Like I said, you were gone before it was even over.
I'm sure I haven't crossed your mind at all. I know this because I know how you treat people. But I want you to know that I think of you every day, for the time being anyway. Soon that will stop. I just wish I meant more to you than you let on in the end. I mean, shit, I wasn't asking for much. The only thing I can tell myself anymore is that you lied the whole time. That's the only reason, the only explanation for how things ended the way they did. This will be my last apology: I'm sorry I wasted eight months of your life and set your career path so off base. I'm sorry I took up so much of your precious time when you could have been doing other, more productive things. Though I don't feel any sense of responsibility for the aforementioned things, I think you do. I'm sorry that you feel you wasted your time. I don't regret anything, if at all being with you. I loved you. Loved you. But it's time to move on, not that it matters to you.
Goodbye,
Che
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