The Incredible Eaters

I noticed today, while planning my binge, that when it's a planned out sort of thing, I don't feel as guilty because I know I'll be rid of it shortly. Whereas, if I go eat something because I'm hungry and I feel I can't go on with out a stupid tiny fucking morsel in my mouth, I do feel guilty. Guilty so much so that I feel like a complete fucking failure and fraud. Take today, for example. I did not eat one thing, but I knew Best Friend and I would be going out to dinner to our favorite little pasta joint. Oh, pasta you will be the death of me. We finished our plates completely, bread and all. Of course we had to order dessert, a half baked cookie with three scoops of vanilla bean ice cream, sprinkled with little chocolate chips. Finished that off like a fat pig too. I bet our waiter was impressed at how we consumed all that food like we hadn't eaten in days. It's always that way with Best Friend. We eat a lot together. It's kind of a stupid bond thing that us skinny bitches find amusing.

No Thanks, Spandex

Artist Man expressed his, er, interest (?) in me dressing up in an outfit like this. I see two issues with this: 1) It's spandex 2) I'm a fatty. Fatties in spandex is not sexy. Not to mention, I'm not a huge fan of this look. Plain and simple. I like lace and leather.

Pulling Me In

The dining hall called my name; Potatoes...pasta...cereal. What is this fixation with carbs? As soon as Best Friend leaves my room, Mia will take care of me. Ana, please come back. Please. I was 114.2 this morning. Look at those horrid numbers. What I would give to be 100. If only, if only...I feel like absolute shit, what with the potatoes and the cheesy pasta. Why? Why did I have to be so weak? I had stuck to my 300 cal limit all day. Only 300! This is so disappointing. I can only imagine what my little Health-O-Meter scale will tell me once I step on it. It will plea for help, for me to get my fat ass off of it. "You gained three pounds in one sitting," it will tell me in a disgusted tone. "Do you not have any self-control?" No. No, I do not. I might as well continue on this binge fest since I'll be purging it all later. Girl Scout cookies and a big ass glass of water. Let's do this binge right.

Artist Man has mentioned nothing of coming to visit me this weekend. He's been awfully feisty the last week, with his smart-ass sarcastic replies. I want to see him, I do. But I'm not going to drive across town anymore to go see him. He needs to come to me for a change, damnit. Take that drive for me. Make the gesture.

Circus Food

Coffee and cigarettes are what I plan to be "consuming" this week. Caffeine and nicotine. Life and death. I did so well today, I'm quite proud. Until Mother expressed her dire need to see me; she has separation anxiety since I'm away at college...across town. Dear lord woman. So I was forced to drive across town to our humble abode to "enjoy" a delicious meal with the Family. It was delicious, to be honest. Then I made a little trip to the toilet and Mia took it from there. Sometimes I wonder if they hear me. But Mia makes sure the door is locked, removes the rings from my right index and middle fingers, and turns in the shower. Mia is a clever one, she is. Mia is free to carry on in her normal behavior here, at our humble abode. The dorms limit her. The living quarters are too close, so that's when I get to see Ana. The three of us, we get along. We get along.

In other news, I need my Artist Man. I hope he is missing me as much as I am him. I miss the late nights with him...oh, the lust, you would not believe. As cliché as this is about to sound, I think he's the one. I mean, as far as losing my V-Card. Chyeah, I'm in college and still have not had sex. But I'm going to sex him. Sexing the Artist Man. It's just a matter of losing the Elephant Fat from the weekend. Damnit. Once I'm feeling like a hot little sex kitten again, well. Let's hope this week is successful. Caffeine and nicotine, I'm relying on you. Don't fuck this up.

My Moustache Mug and I

Are not getting any work done. I also miss Artist Man severely. I only get to see him on the weekends, and since he has been sick since Thursday...I'm dying a little inside. I just wish he wasn't so grumpy when I did talk to him. It makes it difficult to talk to him and have a normal conversation. And in the off chance that he is better in a few days, I won't have time to see him, lest he actually spend the night with me (which is highly unlikely). My bed in my dorm is too small anyway, I suppose. I need to be thin before I see him this weekend, IF I see him this weekend. Ready, set, go for fast! I guess I'll get back to my art project (2-D Design). Oh, and if anyone is interested, I have a dailybooth here: http://dailybooth.com/chelsealyles. Some followers would be cool.

The Elephant

Hello All,

It appears to be a birthday weekend because I am at another birthday celebration for a family member. It occurred to me today that my family is quite gluttonous, having up to three helpings full of carbs. As soon as I got here, Grandma was swarming me with questions about Artist Man and as to why I did not bring him to this birthday dinner for all of them to meet. Fortunately, Artist Man has the stomach flu and was not able to make it (unfortunately for him and I). Is wrong of me to be jealous? He told me this morning that he hasn't eaten for four days. Meanwhile, I've been pigging out all weekend and have become the size of a circus elephant. This coming week will be a fasting week. I need to get back to thin. A girlfriend cannot be bigger than her boyfriend. That itself is a freakshow and belongs in a circus.

Come One, Come All...

Hello All,

This is my first entry and I suppose I should introduce the main event, i.e. me. Let me just provide this preface: you have stumbled upon yet another young woman with severe self-esteem issues, which has led to me to my friends Ana and Mia. Say hello! The three of us are delighted to make your acquaintance. Now, on with the show, shall we?

Let's move on to my daily struggle for today. Though I was very proud last night for not binging on a Tacobell run with the girls after a night of dancing at the gay club, it might as well have been ruined when I woke up today. Damn you college dining halls. And if that wasn't enough, it was Best Friend's birthday, complete with celebratory dinner at a high-end sushi joint (and then topped off with two scoops of gelato, oh my!) However, the glowing moment of tonight was a comment I received on how tiny I am. Thank you Best Friend's Mother! You ARE A GEM. Happy Birthday Best Friend. Here's to being young and thin.