Last night I gorged myself on a loaf of french bread. Yeah, I ate the whole damn thing, I was in the middle of a bp session. I was interrupted when our guests from the back house came in for dinner, so I decided to head to my room and do some thinspiration-seeking. Unfortunately, I passed out cold and was unable to rid myself of that horrible binge...an entire loaf...of french bread...and butter...dear god. So, because my sub-conscience wanted to punish my awful behavior, I had a nightmare.

It was Halloween, or around that time at least, and my two (fictitious) sisters and I were getting ready to go out. I was still with the lovely H, and we had all gone on vacation to his hometown so I could meet his high school chums. I had on an outfit that made me look my very best, as did my two sisters. We go out and H escapes away with some old friends, leaving me to deal with these two. They're getting hit on by every guy there, because they looked so gorgeous, and I was just left sitting all alone on my barstool. At some point, I end up asking them, "why is nobody hitting on me?" (Cue sad face.) They proceeded to tell me it was because I was unattractive. I didn't believe them because they were so snobby, and I decided to ask around. General consensus showed I was, indeed, a fugly monster. Yada yada yada, they try to give me a makeover, we ask H and he skips around the question, which only validates my ugliness...the end. The moral of the story is: do not plan a binge while you're exhausted and forget (or fall asleep) before you can purge. It really fucks with your self-esteem...as if mine could get any lower. Fuck.