I noticed today, while planning my binge, that when it's a planned out sort of thing, I don't feel as guilty because I know I'll be rid of it shortly. Whereas, if I go eat something because I'm hungry and I feel I can't go on with out a stupid tiny fucking morsel in my mouth, I do feel guilty. Guilty so much so that I feel like a complete fucking failure and fraud. Take today, for example. I did not eat one thing, but I knew Best Friend and I would be going out to dinner to our favorite little pasta joint. Oh, pasta you will be the death of me. We finished our plates completely, bread and all. Of course we had to order dessert, a half baked cookie with three scoops of vanilla bean ice cream, sprinkled with little chocolate chips. Finished that off like a fat pig too. I bet our waiter was impressed at how we consumed all that food like we hadn't eaten in days. It's always that way with Best Friend. We eat a lot together. It's kind of a stupid bond thing that us skinny bitches find amusing.
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