The restroom is messy, the toilet bowl specifically. There's splashes over here, remnants over there, a suspicious smell that hangs in the air. I've been in there at least three times today alone, with the shower on, repeatedly "taking showers". In total, I have eaten two bowls of vanilla ice cream, one of which was topped with Chips Ahoy cookies. I've had two cheesy-scrambled-egg sandwiches on buttered wheat toast. I've had milk and cookies, you guessed it, twice. I had a chicken sandwich with loads of ketchup. Barbecue chips and corn chips. A banana, strawberries and blackberries. All of this accompanied with countless glasses of water.

After I've eaten so much I can't stand without a sharp pain shooting through my stomach, I make my way to my royal throne. The endless cups of water make it easier for it to all come up. I step on the scale, wipe the toilet bowl clean and flush.