I know I've been gone and much needed update is long overdue (if anyone really does consistently read my blog). SO, here it goes.
I've been still struggling with losing those disgusting extra pounds, but which one of us hasn't. It's become a day-to-day thing, an internal struggle of whether or not I should eat that salad, that sandwich, that soup. But I can promise you, I'm getting there. And by New Year's for sure, I will be closer to that ultimate goal weight.
B and I are never going to be, though we never were. He officially has a girlfriend and we've lost touch. But randomly, out of the blue, he texted me tonight asking to go to coffee. I went, not knowing what to expect and it was...weird to say the least. I asked him how he's been, what's new with his life; not one mention of his girlfriend. Odd. Not quite sure of what to think of that.
Two weeks ago, I got into an argument with H. It was over something petty and I didn't really even care about the whole thing. I guess he thought he hurt my feelings because he went around to our friends saying how he "dropped bombs" and to make everyone aware that I'd be whining about how he "hurt my feelings", which wasn't the case at all. Time passes, some shit happens to him, people start walking out of his life and he realizes how much of a shitty person he's been. So much so, that he sent me an apology text saying that he hates himself everyday for everything. He even came out to visit at 3am to apologize in person. Apologizing is a lot for this guy, let me tell you. He doesn't say sorry to anyone, for anything. He said he wants to make a change in his life and me talking to him again, I can see that. He's starting to be a normal human being. He's actually growing up. I told him that if he ever needed anything, he could always call me or just come up to visit for a few hours. No strings attached, no pressure. Everyone is all concerned about him having ulterior motives of wanting to get back together or me falling for him, but I don't think I could do that. At least not now when he's so vulnerable. I just want to be his friend. I can't believe how much this has come full circle.
I've failed two of my four classes, but I think everyone has THAT semester in college where it's complete shit. I own up to it, I'm okay with that, and I'm moving on. I can't fix it now, so I have no reason to dwell on it. Mistakes happen, we're only human.
One last thing, if anyone is interested in what my daily life is like, I made a youtube channel. It's basically just me taping my roommates and friends and putting a pretty song over it with some dialog here and there, but I hold them very dear to my heart. If you want to check it out, the link is
here.
I love you all, thanks for listening, on keep on with all of your strength. We WILL be skinny this holiday season.